10 Things I Discovered From a Month of Abstinence
I abstained from alcohol last month.
Here are the 10 things I discovered.
Here's why I did this:
Primarily to lean out. My percent body fat on Jan 1st was above 21%. I don't like the way I feel or look there. Goal is 15% and to sustain that.
I wanted to test my mental toughness. I frequently do these things - seek modest and temporary discomforts. We don't create grit by pursuing easy and comfortable. Grit is priceless. And necessary as an entrepreneur.
I had gotten borderline uncomfortable with how closely linked alcohol was with my fun. Felt like I was drinking as part of the things we did for fun too regularly. Very seldom to excess, but frequently enough to give me pause.
I detest any sort of dependence. Like deep down in my soul, I avoid and rebel against any feeling of dependence. There's a lot to unpack here, probably months of therapy, so I can't put my finger on where this comes from, but it is undeniable.
So, I wanted to sample what life was like without alcohol. It had been over 15 years since I had gone a full month without drinking. I'd read lotsa stories about how liberating and exhilarating that felt from others who'd done this. I wanted to see for myself.
What I observed:
James Clear describes this eloquently in his book Atomic Habits - when we combine two things and the second thing is enjoyable, the doing of the first triggers a craving for the second. It's a basis for habit formation and addiction. This bore out for me with hiking. We like to have a beer or two (or more) after a hike or long walk, often at cool breweries. It's our thing - something we do for fun. It's all good, except for the habitual craving the pairing created when tossing a pint or two after our weekend hikes.
Abstinence was pretty easy on weekdays. Less so on weekends. Not surprising.
Notice and name, a mindfulness practice, works. When we feel a craving or compulsion, we pause before acting. Then, take notice of it - mindfully feel it and acknowledge it. Then name it - call it what it is - a craving. The pause and acknowledgment allow our self-control to regain the upper hand. Most times, the craving passes soon enough. Our better self wins.
Notice and name works for food too. It can help you eat less.
I slept better. Not a surprise. I've known for over a decade that alcohol disrupts my sleep.
We saved money - over $200 from prior Jan. That's not insignificant. Annualized, that's $2400 but likely quite a bit more when we throw in trips and events. I'm gonna guesstimate that number is double when we survey a typical year. That equates to $400 per month. A car payment.
Non-alcoholic carbonated beverages helped. Simple and inexpensive cans of flavored Polar seltzers were my go-to. And I test-drove a few non-alcoholic beers. Some were ok. Guinness was my favorite.
I can resist anything but temptation. Avoidance > Resistance. We intentionally stayed away from slippery slopes where we knew we might slip.
Having said that, I also intentionally tested my mettle a couple of times by dropping into a bar. If I'm being honest, I wasn't sure how I'd do or what I'd order right up until the critical decision point when I had to place my order. My better self won. Phew. Ordered non-alcoholic Guinness.
I was both surprised and not by how tempted I felt. There were days and circumstances for which I felt the strong pull of temptation - watching football games and after our hikes and rambles. Other days, I felt none whatsoever, even if the girls were imbibing in my presence.
Conclusions:
I estimate that I didn't drink 12,000 calories throughout the month. That's the equivalent of over four days of calories for me.
A total guesstimate, but by not drinking I may have also avoided another 5000-6000 calories from junk I would've eaten. That's another couple of days' worth of calories.
Added up, that's almost a week's worth of calories I did not ingest.
I really missed our post-hike brews. As I noted above, that's sorta our thing. I missed it. Sure, the non-alcoholic substitutes were ok. But it wasn't the same.
I wish I could report that I slept the sleep of angels all month. Not quite. For sure it was better, but not all halcyon bliss.
I lost a little more than 5 lbs in total - 4 lbs of fat, 1 lb of muscle.
Don't let the quit in! As the weekends wore on, I found myself wanting to question why I was doing this.
A frequent internal dialogue…
"This is stupid. Why are you doing this? You don't need to prove anything. Who cares? Who's gonna even know? It's not like you have a problem. This is stupid. Why are you doing this? It's not sustainable anyway. What's the plan for February, jack@ss? You're just gonna go back to your old ways anyway, and this will all be for nothing. This is stupid. Why..."
I found that if I allowed this internal debate to unspool, I felt my lesser self starting to win as I drifted closer and closer to justification.
So, I decided to not let the quit in. I shut down the debate and closed my mind to anything but sticking to my commitment. This works, but only if you allow for a pause to notice and name.
What's next?
Damp February - reintroduce a little planful moderation within solid boundaries.
Measure what matters - track my consumption via our app. This will measure the additional calories I'm consuming and give me clarity on how that's impacting my daily caloric load.
Continue to assess, regroup, and adjust, keeping my end goals front of mind.
We are stronger than our excuses.