It’s This That Leads to Truly Sustainable Change

“I just feel really… um, I dunno… uh… fat. I feel really fat, Paul. And I feel like sh*t. I can’t stand to look at myself in the mirror, it just depresses me. I work all day and I’m exhausted when I’m done. I work at home so, alotta days I never even leave the house. I know I’ve gotta switch things up. I’ve gotta do something different. If I could just lose, like… 30 lbs, then I think I’d feel better. I mean 20 would be great, 30 might be a reach, but whatever, at this point, I’d be happy to lose like 5. Can you help me lose 5 lbs, Paul?”

A familiar story. The life Kerry’s living is one that’s being lived out by millions of super-moms who are giving their best to their families and work, but who habitually neglect their own needs.

Rather than focus on the mind shift she needs to make her own wellbeing a priority, let’s focus on her aspirations, and what’s missing – who?

“If I could just lose, like… 30 lbs, then…”

Seems like a great goal, right? – “I want to lose 30 lbs.”

It’s a decent start at meeting the well known SMART requirements – Specific, Measurable, probably Attainable, and maybe Relevant. It’s just missing the Time requirement.

Even if she were to refine her goal and add a completion date, the odds are massively stacked against her. We can make goals as SMART as possible, but most will still come up short and few sustain that change.

Truly SUSTAINABLE change is more about our self-identity, WHO we want to become, than what we DO.

James Clear writes in his essential book, Atomic Habits…

“True behavior change is identity change.”

Every day, we make choices about who we believe we are, or want to become. We behave in alignment with that identity.

Although I have not competed in any sport since I was 20, I still think of myself as an athlete. My daily choices and behaviors mostly support that identity. For instance, I don’t “work out”. I “train”.

My coaching to Kerry was to set aside time to reflect on and identify the person she truly wants to become. Then, visualize that. Form a sharp mental image of that person. Do that daily, multiple times every day to constantly remind her of who she hopes to become.

Then, adopt the mind shift that she IS that person. She is fit and energetic. From there, her choices will begin to support that identity.

Even better, with each choice she proves to herself that she is who she aspires to be. Steadily, those choices accumulate and she no longer aspires to be fit, she IS fit.

And then Kerry not only sheds that 30 lbs, she keeps it off. Forever.

Our aspiration for MidStrong is to be a resource to good people like Kerry who may be stuck in the busy-ness of midlife but who desperately aspire to something better. We want to be a guide who leads them along the path to who they want to become and equips them to stay there once they’ve reached their happy place.

You can do this. Don’t settle. Join us.

Stronger than our excuses.